Alice Cooper
Musician
When I had my daughter I knew that my life would change. I would have to carry more stuff (baby stuff when she was little and now Hello Kitty EVERYTHING), my organizational skills would be challenged everyday at home and that I would have to limit my happy hours with friends once my bundle of joy entered the picture (just keeping it real), but NEVER did I once think that I would have to have conversations with a four year old (yes, later in life, but 4???) about time and how she needed to get her butt in gear and move it - I'm the MOMMA. But alas, the other day this fabulous and loving jewel in my crown (note: this title will change daily) had the nerve to ask me "why are you rushing mommy."
A little history is needed here! I have always been the person who is on time. On time means early in my book. I grew up a military brat, knowing and understanding military time AND, if late, there were consequences from the military dad in my family (hi dad, love you!). My friends used to and up until recently roll their eyes when they had to go somewhere with me because they knew I was not having any lateness in my car (uhem my dear friend Tiffany). So, it pains me to be late to anything. If you say 11:00 a.m., it will be 10:45 a.m. in my book. Time management is so relevant to my life that I tell my husband we have to be somewhere usually 30 minutes before we have to actually be to our destination because he too has time issues. But I digress.
So, you get the picture. On time . . .let's go . . .what's the problem. Well, the four year old had a very clear and concise question and answer to her time management issues or rather my rushing issues. The dialogue:
The Syd: Mom why are your rushing?
The Mom: What do you mean rushing?
The Syd: Why are you rushing tying my tennis shoes?
The Mom: We need to get out the door and head off to school and work, we're late - AGAIN!
The Syd: Mom, you shouldn't rush because your face gets sad looking, my tennis shoes get tied too tight and then we have a BAD DAY.
*(enter mom pause)*
Has my obsession with time management gotten to the point of making my four year old have a bad day? Were we really so late or had I just set an expectation that I wanted to be out the door at a certain time? What's the lesson I'm teaching my daughter by always being in a rush to meet some vague deadline that's been set in the morning that all working moms have, right? So I took a step back.
The rest of the conversation.
The Mom: Syd, we are a little late getting to school, so mom is just trying to get you to school so you can get your morning snack and we can respect your teacher's time and start your circle talk time with everyone in class. You know you like to be in circle time, right.
The Syd: Oh, then let's go because we don't want to be late.
Now did I teach her anything that morning, I think a little. Did I teach myself something about rushing and ushering my daughter and myself into a "bad day" because of a little timing issue - absolutely. My hope is that I can teach my daughter to be respectful of people's time and really work to meet expectation when you've set an appointment, but for me it's about not always being in a rush. Is it going to kill me not to get to the mall at 12:00 p.m. as planned, or will 12:15 p.m. work and no yelling, screaming or sad faces have to come out? I have to answer in the affirmative. Timeliness and respect for other people's time is important, but as important is the ability to take it a little easier and just enjoy the time tying the shoes that will soon become pumps and be put on behind closed doors with a simple "mom I'm leaving" and a door slam.
A little history is needed here! I have always been the person who is on time. On time means early in my book. I grew up a military brat, knowing and understanding military time AND, if late, there were consequences from the military dad in my family (hi dad, love you!). My friends used to and up until recently roll their eyes when they had to go somewhere with me because they knew I was not having any lateness in my car (uhem my dear friend Tiffany). So, it pains me to be late to anything. If you say 11:00 a.m., it will be 10:45 a.m. in my book. Time management is so relevant to my life that I tell my husband we have to be somewhere usually 30 minutes before we have to actually be to our destination because he too has time issues. But I digress.
So, you get the picture. On time . . .let's go . . .what's the problem. Well, the four year old had a very clear and concise question and answer to her time management issues or rather my rushing issues. The dialogue:
The Syd: Mom why are your rushing?
The Mom: What do you mean rushing?
The Syd: Why are you rushing tying my tennis shoes?
The Mom: We need to get out the door and head off to school and work, we're late - AGAIN!
The Syd: Mom, you shouldn't rush because your face gets sad looking, my tennis shoes get tied too tight and then we have a BAD DAY.
*(enter mom pause)*
Has my obsession with time management gotten to the point of making my four year old have a bad day? Were we really so late or had I just set an expectation that I wanted to be out the door at a certain time? What's the lesson I'm teaching my daughter by always being in a rush to meet some vague deadline that's been set in the morning that all working moms have, right? So I took a step back.
The rest of the conversation.
The Mom: Syd, we are a little late getting to school, so mom is just trying to get you to school so you can get your morning snack and we can respect your teacher's time and start your circle talk time with everyone in class. You know you like to be in circle time, right.
The Syd: Oh, then let's go because we don't want to be late.
Now did I teach her anything that morning, I think a little. Did I teach myself something about rushing and ushering my daughter and myself into a "bad day" because of a little timing issue - absolutely. My hope is that I can teach my daughter to be respectful of people's time and really work to meet expectation when you've set an appointment, but for me it's about not always being in a rush. Is it going to kill me not to get to the mall at 12:00 p.m. as planned, or will 12:15 p.m. work and no yelling, screaming or sad faces have to come out? I have to answer in the affirmative. Timeliness and respect for other people's time is important, but as important is the ability to take it a little easier and just enjoy the time tying the shoes that will soon become pumps and be put on behind closed doors with a simple "mom I'm leaving" and a door slam.
